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Ballad of the Quarter Beers

(An Oberlin tradition)

I went and bought my first beer, and downed it really quick.
Then I got some fresh air, and smoked a cancer stick.
Inside I grabbed a second beer, but drank it by the sip.
I bought the third beer on a dare, of course I left a tip.
Number four followed soon, though the fifth, it took some time.
I thought for sure I was in heaven, when beer six cost just a dime.
My friends declare I stopped at seven, but I know I finished eight.
I, smoking, watched the moon, and wondered how it got so late.
I spent some time then by the toilet, and though being sick sure sucks,
tonight, that could not spoil it, 'cause it only cost two bucks!

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